I’m learning that Journey is my little mirror. No, he can’t show me if my hair is mussed or my makeup needs a touch-up. But he definitely reflects what’s really going on.
Sometimes I’m proud of what I see. Like when I hurt myself and he comes up to me, lays hands on me and says “Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus [mumble, mumble, mumble] … in Jesus name, AMEN!” Or he walks up to his sister and says “I love you so very much!” You can imagine the quiet smile that washes over my face in those moments.
But there are other times that I don’t like what I see. When he looks at me with all seriousness, after I’ve fussed at him, and says “Don’t yell, Mommy!” Ouch! Or when he bangs his hand down, in frustration. Where did he learn that? In those moments, I wish it were simply a matter of a smudge on my face that needs to be wiped.
That’s when the self-doubt starts: I’m failing him! I’m not cut out for this!
But then I’m reminded that “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NKJV). This scripture has two points of comfort for me. First, God’s grace is sufficient for me. I’m not enough. On my own, I am failing my children. But in my weakness, God’s strength is perfected. Secondly, His grace is sufficient for Journey. I have to believe that God is covering my shortcomings. I will always do my best with my children. That doesn’t change. But when my best is insufficient, God’s grace is sufficient. I hold on to that. I hold on to the belief that God loves my kids so much more than I do.
My little mirror will not always reflect the best in me. But my prayer is that, in time, it will reflect the best in him and God.