Look How Far You’ve Come

Music has a way of holding memories, taking you back to certain places and times in your life. No matter how much time has passed, if you hear that one song, all the memories start flooding back. Personally, I love musical walks down memory lane.

My house, growing up, was filled with music. So it’s always fun for me to pull up those old songs on Spotify or YouTube and just reminisce. If I put on Tramaine Hawkins’ “Look at Me,” suddenly, I’m transported back to my four-year-old self who could listen to that song over and over. I remember sitting in front of our record player (yes, record player) and just singing my heart out with Tramaine. Or if I listen to anything from The Clark Sisters, I’m reminded of my brother, sister and me skipping around the coffee table in joyful celebration of the songs we loved. These are such wonderful memories for me.

But not all songs hold happy memories for me. I remember when my classmate was stabbed and killed in high school. I must have listened to Commissioned’s “Cry On” a million times. And even now when I hear that song, I get teary-eyed, remembering how sad I felt, even though, for the life of me, I can’t remember his name.

Today, I was listening to several songs that were on repeat during my divorce. On one hand, all the emotions I felt as I walked through my divorce came rushing back. But at the same time, a great sense of gratitude washed over me because I wasn’t in that broken place anymore. I could remember and even feel the pain, but it didn’t hold the same power over me anymore.

There are several verses that encourage us to look forward not back, like Philippians 3:13-14, “Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (ESV, emphasis added). Or Isaiah 43:18-19, “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert” (ESV, emphasis added).

There is a trap in reminiscing. It can be easy to “romanticize” the past. And I think that’s what these verses are warning against. We have to be careful not to get so stuck in the past that we can’t move forward into what God wants to do in our lives now. But there is value in looking back and seeing how far God has brought you.

The people of Israel understood this. Before they entered into the Promise Land, in Deuteronomy, Moses retells all that happened from their Exodus out of Egypt to the forty years in the wilderness, reminding the people of all that God had done for them: “I have led you forty years in the wilderness. Your clothes have not worn out on you, and your sandals have not worn off your feet” (Deuteronomy 29:5 ESV).

Even as they were crossing into the Promise Land, God instructed them to set up Memorial Stones from the Jordan: “And Joshua said to them, ‘Pass on before the ark of the Lord your God into the midst of the Jordan, and take up each of you a stone upon his shoulder, according to the number of tribes of the people of Israel, that this may be a sign among you. When your children ask in time to come, “What do those stones mean to you?” then you shall tell them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it passed over the Jordan, the waters were cut off. So these stones shall be to the people of Israel a memorial forever'” (Joshua 4:5-7 ESV).

But as we see in the book of Judges, there is a danger of forgetting: “And all that generation also were gathered to their fathers. And there arose another generation after them that did not know the Lord or the work that he had done for Israel” (Judges 2:10 ESV, emphasis added). Just one generation after the people of Israel had taken possession of the Promise Land, they had forgotten all that God had done. As a result, “…the people of Israel did what was evil in the sight of the Lord and served the Baals. And they abandoned the Lord, the God of their fathers, who had brought them out of the land of Egypt. They went after other gods, from among the gods of the peoples who were around them, and bowed down to them. And they provoked the Lord to anger” (Judges 2:11-12 ESV).

It’s important not to get caught in the past, reliving the “glory days.” But it’s equally important to remember and acknowledge how far you’ve come and all that God has done for you. Like the people of Israel, set up memorial stones so that you can be reminded of what God has done. But don’t stay camped out at the banks of the Jordan. There’s so much more land to possess.

“Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children.”

Deuteronomy 4:9 ESV

The Bigger View

Have you ever tried to look at your reflection in a window instead of a mirror? Since a window’s purpose is not to cast a reflection, trying to see yourself in one is difficult.

I found that I often treat the Word of God like a mirror, when in actuality it’s more like a window. I’m constantly looking for myself in the pages of the Bible. But that’s not a right perspective. If, as I’ve proposed, the Bible is more like a window, it was written to show the bigger picture of who God is, not merely a reflection of who I am.

To take this analogy further, if I focus on my reflection in a window, I can still see the window’s view, but it’s out of focus and a bit distorted. The same is true when it comes to the Word of God. If I’m so focused on myself and what it says about me, I’ll be too wrapped up in the “dim” reflection to be able to see the grand view of God clearly.

Reading the Bible from a self-centered point of view allows me to still “see” God and His character. But it’s out of focus and distorted. Instead of being about who He is and how I fit in His story, it becomes about how He fits into mine. And if I don’t perceive Him as serving my purposes, I question Him and His character.

Second Timothy 2:15 reminds us of the importance of keeping a right perspective of God’s Word: “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth” (ESV).

Of course, if I look out of a window, I will catch glimpses of myself. The same is true as I read and study the Bible. God will inevitably reveal things about me. Second Timothy 3:16-17 says, “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work” (ESV). But the reason I look in a window is not to see myself, but rather the larger view it’s been designed to showcase.

Try it sometime. Try focusing on your reflection in a window. How well are you able to see the view of that window? How well are you able to see yourself? I dare say, you will see both quite poorly.

Thoughts on Identity and Contentment

If someone were to ask you who you are, how would you answer? Seems like a pretty straight forward question. I would likely list: mother, daughter, sister, friend. But is that who I really am?

All of those adjectives describe who I am to other people. They describe a role I fill in someone else’s life. But if I define myself by the roles I fill, what happens when those roles change or go away? For example, I will always be Faith and Journey’s mom, but even that relationship will change. They will grow up and move out and start their own families. Who will I be then? Grandma?! (I’d choose a much cooler name like Gigi or something.)

Understanding who I am, outside of the roles I fill, is paramount to my contentment. Being secure in my identity in Christ and finding satisfaction in Him will allow me to weather the changing roles and relationships in my life. But can I be honest? I’m not always satisfied in Christ. I know I’m supposed to be. But the truth is, just like I try to find my identity in temporal things, I try to find my contentment in those same things.

The reality is, I know that none of those things will ever actually satisfy. But I keep looking to them to fill a hole that only God can. Romans 1:25 says, “…They exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen” (ESV). Every time I try to find my identity outside of Christ, every time I try to gain fulfillment and satisfaction outside of Him, I am exchanging the “truth about God for a lie.” I’m saying, “God, even though I know you are all sufficient, I’m going to see if this thing over here will meet my need instead.”

How do I break out of this? Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (ESV). I used to look at this as a quid pro quo exchange with God. “If I give you this delight that you need, then you will give me the things I want.” So then I would manufacture enjoyment in Him only to be left feeling more empty. But that’s not what this is saying. I believe it’s saying that as I delight myself in Him, truly and completely, all the desires of my heart will be met in Him. He will not leave me wanting or needing lesser things.

Unfortunately, I don’t know how to delight in Him on my own. I need the Holy Spirit. So my constant prayer is, “Lord, help me want to want You more. Help me to die to lesser affections, so that You are my one desire.”

I wish I could conclude this with a triumphant statement about how deeply satisfied I am in Christ and how I know my identity is secure in Him. But it’s an ongoing struggle for me. I have to be deliberate to change how I think in this area. As Romans 12:2 says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (ESV).

The Tweens Have Landed

I have a tween! If that’s not a scary thought, I don’t know what is. Journey just turned 11 and will be going into sixth grade this school year. And it’s almost like an alien invasion. Where did my little boy go?! Suddenly, I can see the next six or seven years flashing before my eyes. Soon, he’ll be in junior high, then high school. And I don’t even want to think about what comes after that.

This is new territory for me as a parent. I’m trying desperately to keep up, but I’m having a hard time. It always seems to take me by surprise when one phase ends with the kids and a new one begins. I’m having to learn new ways of relating, new ways of disciplining, new ways of getting my message across, new ways of letting go.

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (ESV). It’s a wonderful promise until I start to think about whether or not I have what it takes to “train him up in the way he should go.” I can’t do this parenting thing on my own. I need support and encouragement. I need input from people who have walked this road before. And most importantly, I need the Holy Spirit.

As I was praying for my tween-ager the other day, I was reminded of what God’s word says in Isaiah 54:13: “All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children” (ESV). It’s inevitable. There will be things I miss as I parent my kids. But this verse comforts me by reminding me that God will teach them what only He can.

My prayer is that, as my children continue to grow and go through their phases, I will be able to meet the challenges with the strength of the Holy Spirit. Joel 2:28 says, “And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy; your old men shall dream dreams, and your young men shall see visions.” I’m praying for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit. I need His power to parent in this new stage. But I also want to see the Holy Spirit at work in the lives of my children.

Parenting well is hard work. It’s not for the faint of heart. But I’m thankful that I’ve not been given this assignment to do on my own. I’m grateful for the people in my life, including their father, who are walking this road with me. And I’m most thankful for God, the ultimate Father.